What is it?

So you got a psycho ex-spouse and that is what brought you here.  Congratulations – you are in good company.

Definition of ex-parte – there are many legal definitions that have nothing to do with what it is in practice.  The only definition that counts is this: you have an emergency and it can’t wait for the standard legal scenario (e.g. apply for a hearing, then wait for it for 3-4 weeks).  And by emergency, I mean emergency – if it isn’t, the judge might get upset and you don’t want that.

So what qualifies as an emergency?  For example, your ex-spouse is getting ready to take the kids out of the state/country – you are showing that you must take immediate actions to prevent permanent damage.  Or contrary to court’s orders your ex enrolled the children in a school in a different county (and the semester starts tomorrow!).  This is a true emergency.  Just ‘cause you lost your job and need to have your child support payments reduced is NOT an emergency.  In fact, child/spousal support matters are rarely considered an emergency. 

In addition, the best you could hope for in an ex-parte process is to get temporary orders.  These orders will last until a full hearing is convened on the matter (usually 3-4 weeks later).

So…how does it actually work?

Step by step:

1. You let the other party know full 24 hours ahead of your filing.  You will have to submit proof with your filing. Do take this to heart, because some judges will not take kindly to you bending the basic rules of fairness.  Plus if the other party lawyered up, you best believe that the attorney will bring this up. Really, really make it 24 hours.
2. On the day of your ex-parte, come to court early (at least by 8 am unless you want to stand in an insane line) and submit your paperwork to the court clerk (along with the aforementioned proof that you contacted the other party).  Bring 3 copies to court for a good measure.  And bring money…if your filing involves children it’ll probably be a fee of $100.  (If you are poor, ask for a waiver, but that’s a story for a different post.)
3. In addition to assigning a judge, the clerk will also schedule a full hearing on the matter (typically 3-4 weeks out).
4. The paperwork will make its way to the judge and when your ex-spouse shows up, you will be asked to give them an extra copy of your filing.  Your ex-spouse will be given 2-3 hours to come up with a written response.
5. The judge will NOT actually see or talk to you.  Some people think that just ‘cause they file stuff, they’ll get to talk to the judge.  That is incorrect.  Again, the judge will not talk to you during the ex-parte process.  So when will you get to say your piece to the judge?  During the full hearing (see step 3).
6. At some point, the bailiff will call you over and hand you judge’s decision.  You now have to live with it until the full hearing.

What forms?

So what forms to do you actually have to file?  This question generates the most confusion among the newly divorced.  The ones who have been at each other’s throats for a while just smile dryly.  It’s easy to understand the cause of confusion because the forms look scary and long and have a lot of legalese, but they are actually fairly simple. Follow along and I’ll tell you.

1. FL-300 -  this is a standard form for pretty much every court filing.  All it wants to know is who you are and what you want.  In the Order To Show Cause section, just check Other and write EX-PARTE underneath it.  This is going to be the easiest form you’ll see.  If you foresee your divorce dragging on forever, I’d save a digital copy of this form all prefilled for the next inevitable confrontation with the psycho that is your ex.
2. FL-305 – very important form in the filing.  It wants to know what temporary (until the full hearing) orders do you want the judge to approve?  Did you catch the temporary part?  Yeah, that temporary.  Think hard about what you want to happen in the next 3 weeks.  If this is a custody battle gone awry, always check the box that prevents the spouses from taking the kids out of the state and/or counties (you have to list them).  ‘Cause you never know.
3. FL-310 – super duper important form.  The form wants to know what permanent orders you want the judge to approve.  Your demands in this form will not be discussed today, but rather during the full hearing in 3-4 weeks.  However, this form has a very important nugget that you should put the most time in…and that is FACTS IN SUPPORT (point 10).  This is also known as a Declaration.  Your write-up here is what the judges base their decisions on.  Most of the time the space provided on the form is not enough and people attach extra papers.  Make sure and sign those extras.
4. L-1120 – enter all your related cases.  If you and your spouse are suing each other in another courtroom because one of you damaged the stamp collection – put it all on this form.  Even if the lawsuit makes you look petty – still put it on this form – the judges have all your cases on their computer screen.   You do not want to piss off a judge by being underhanded. 
5. L-1124 – remember when I told you that you’ll need proof that you notified the other party?  No?  Good, cause there is a form for you to fill out asking just that.  However, filling out is not quite enough.  Remember, lawyers love nothing more than to get the case dismissed on a technicality.  To defeat even the most resourceful ones, also submit proof.  For  instance, don’t just text the other party – also email them.  Write Proof of Service in large letters at the top of the page, then paste images of the text message and the email. 

And that is all – see, it wasn’t that hard.  Btw, you can get most forms here, google for the rest.

Advanced Tips and Tricks.

If you really need this…man, you are so screwed.  I think at this point you should call up your ex and see if you two crazy kids can patch things up – it’s just cheaper that way.  No?  Not convinced?  On to the list.

1. Invest in a good PDF reader/editor.  You’ll need it to fill out the plethora of forms you are about to have first contact with.  No, Acrobat Reader is not a good PDF reader.  I recommend Foxit Reader.  It’s free, but they have some add-ons that lets you mark up the documents.  I’d spend the money on those add-ons – they are super useful.  The application will actually prompt you when you are doing something that’s not covered by the free product.
2. PDF has a concept called Form Data.  It means that you can export all the boilerplate information you have to enter into each and every solitary form (name, address, etc.) and then import it into every subsequent form you fill out.  This saves time like absolutely nothing else.  In the Foxit Reader, this functionality is under the Advanced/Form Utilities menu.
3. We are all busy people and sometimes you need access to forms you’ve filled out, but you are at work, and the forms are at home.  Either put up your docs on SkyDrive, Google Docs or something similar.  Or use Dropbox, Live Mesh or a host other similar free products to share your documents across the internet.
4. Be organized – keep all your filings, forms, responses separated by folders.  If your ex-spouse serves you with a bunch of papers, scan them into a PDF – this has saved me several times.  Organization is half the battle.
5. In court, do not be led by your emotion.  The thing is that it’s your emotion and you can’t tell if others are feeling the same way – most likely not.  Be logical and analytical.  Judges are not swayed by hysterical outbursts.
6. Preparation is half the battle.  Spend the time and write detailed declarations and reference other, older court orders and documents (you know, judges don’t remember every single thing that was ever said).  For instance, write the following: “As noted in court order from 2/5/2011 (Exhibit A, page 2, paragraph 3)…”.  You see what I did here?  I saved the judge the trouble of trying to remember what the hell you are talking about and having to go through a 20 page exhibit looking for the nugget of information I am trying to bring up.  I led the judge straight to the source.  They appreciate this.  In fact, several times the judge commended me on the detail and  thoroughness of my filings.  This is where being organized comes in handy (as mentioned in point 4).